As I’ve shared in previous posts, I’m a natural planner through and through. Motherhood has challenged me to unlearn old habits and grow in new ways, as my former approaches no longer served me in this new chapter of life.
One of the biggest lessons has been redefining my priorities. Almost a year ago, I made the incredibly tough decision to walk away from a dream opportunity because it didn’t align with my values or support the balance I needed for both career and family life. It was, without question, the hardest choice I’ve ever made, and it took months to fully come to terms with it—but deep down, I knew it was the right path. That decision changed the trajectory of my life, mental, and plans for the future. If it wasn’t for the support and love of my family, I wouldn’t have been able to walk away and take the time to prioritize my son, my mental and my peace of mind.
Taking that risk was bold, but don’t think I went in without a plan! I just knew everything would unfold exactly as I’d envisioned. The plan was to land a better opportunity shortly after and continue with my plans for the future. Unfortunately, that is not what happened at all. Everything that I tried, nothing seemed to work, and attempting to force everything to go the way that I wanted to only created even more disappointments and frustration.
Within this year of “restarting,” my faith has significantly strengthened, along with my relationship with Christ. My anxiety and compassion for the little things have tripled. In addition to figuring it out, I have also loved this opportunity to fall completely in love with myself and my son as well as rediscover myself.
Taking the time to embrace that everything is part of my life’s journey and humbling myself to the truth that every event—whether a redirection or a season of character development—is divinely orchestrated by God, has brought me peace. It’s a reminder that it’s okay to trust the process. For months prior I experienced a deep depression along with a loathing sense of failure and disappointment. I tried my hardest to give myself grace and hold space for the full range of my emotions. It wasn’t until I asked myself the simple question, “Am I truly stressed, or am I creating stress?” When I took the time to answer this question, I realized that I had so many things to be grateful for:
- A loving and supportive family
- A healthy and incredible son
- Strong physical and mental well-being
- Nourishing food and a warm, safe home
Essentially, life is good. Just because my life didn’t unfold exactly how I envisioned or I haven’t accomplished everything on my list doesn’t mean I’ve failed. When I see how incredibly smart, loving, and kind my son is, it’s clear that I’m doing something right. Some days are better than others, but I’m truly grateful that now I can see not just what’s missing, but also the abundance of good in my life. 2025 is loading and I am so excited for what is to come with all that I have released, healed, and grown along the way.
