“Mommy.” “Mama. “Mom.” “Ma.” Dozens of hats to wear but only one person wears them all.
Becoming a mom has changed me tremendously. It’s only been a few years but it has brought up so many revelations, insecurities, anxiety, depression, struggles, and habits of my own that I repressed and ignored with distractions. It created a desire in me to make sure my shortcomings do not become a hindrance for my son to become his best self and I vowed to fill his world with loving experiences that he will carry with him forever.
Below are a few things I have changed that have made motherhood a better experience for me.
Finding Strength in Community and Support Networks
If I could do everything in the world by myself, believe me, I would! I prefer solitude and handling things alone. Motherhood is the toughest yet most rewarding job I’ve ever had, and I’ve discovered the importance of a supportive community to lighten the load. I wouldn’t consider myself a social butterfly. I tend to keep people at arm’s length, and getting close to me can be difficult. Because of this, being extremely independent comes naturally, and I never wanted to get many people involved if help was needed. However, this mindset doesn’t serve me well in motherhood. I have learned that relying on community and seeking support comes from a place of strength, not lack.
Faith as a Foundation: Balancing Motherhood and Spiritual Growth
I truly didn’t understand how unconditional Christ’s love is until I became a mom.
“AND SO WE KNOW AND RELY ON THE LOVE GOD HAS FOR US. GOD IS LOVE. WHOEVER LIVES IN LOVE LIVES IN GOD, AND GOD IN THEM” 1 JOHN 4:16
I have always had a relationship with God but becoming a mom inspired me to strengthen it even more. It is important for me to be the best me, example, and influence that I can be for my son and I know that I can’t do it without Him. I have changed and grown so much and I know that there is still much more personal growth ahead for me to accomplish. I understand being a mom is a significant role that I don’t take lightly and through my guidance and love; I want to help him grow into a man who also prioritizes a relationship with God.
Redefining Priorities: Balancing Work and Family Life
Whew. This was a tough one. I’ve always had big career goals, and I feel truly blessed to say so far my career has consistently aligned with my heart’s deepest desires. But..those desires have evolved. Being present with my baby is my utmost priority, so any job I consider must prioritize a healthy work-life balance and contribute positively to my mental health. Unfortunately, I have had to turn down and even walk away from opportunities that did not align with my values and needs to ensure that both my career and family life thrived. Embracing these changes and sacrifices wasn’t easy, but they came with the incredible reward of watching my child grow.
Guilt-Free Self-Care: Understanding It’s Okay to Put Yourself First
The famous quote, “You can’t pour from an empty cup” is not a myth. You cannot. So much is required to show up and be present with a young child in addition to ensuring all their emotional needs are met sufficiently for adulthood. If I have learned anything, I have learned that yes I am a mom but a mom is not all that I am! It can be so easy to lose yourself in motherhood but putting me first is not selfish. I show up for myself in several ways but below are my favorites.
- being brave despite fear and anxiety
- prioritizing a healthy lifestyle
- unlearning any negative beliefs and habits that prevent me from showing up as my best self
- indulging in self-care daily
- accepting the person I was and the person I am striving to be in all her flaws and imperfections (she is worthy of grace and love)
- saying yes to the invitation
- walking away from one-sided relationships & friendships
- accepting that being flexible and open to change is the secret to living a stress-free life
- understanding that happiness isn’t a reward but an intentional choice to make every day
Becoming a mom brought so many changes that reshaped every aspect of my life. From shifting priorities, and newfound strength in patience and grace to an overwhelming amount of unconditional love for a little human. Motherhood is a journey filled with highs and lows, but through it all, showing up consistently is the greatest gift you can give your children and yourself.
If you’re a mom and you’re reading this:
Keep showing up, mom. You’re doing an incredible job.
