I never imagined writing this blog post, but it’s real, raw, and my truth—exactly what I dedicated my blog to be about. It’s no secret that pregnancy and post-pregnancy experiences vary differently for everyone due to several factors. I can say I had a smooth pregnancy while baby boy and I remained healthy. Despite the high amount of stress I encountered while pregnant due to losing my job and an unstable situation; postpartum took it to a new level.
Navigating Postpartum Emotions and Mental Health
People often romanticize motherhood, highlighting the idea of creating life, unconditional love, and the joy it brings. But, hardly anyone talks about how to embrace motherhood while navigating the adjustment it brings. Thankfully, adjusting to the day-to-day with baby boy was fairly simple. He slept through the night, did not cry too much, and was a delight to care for. My struggles surfaced from Who am I now? Where is that daily joy everyone speaks of? What the heck am I doing? I had a vision of what I wanted motherhood to be for me, but as I faced reality, it looked entirely different from what I imagined. I have always prided myself on being career-driven and excelling in whatever role came my way so motherhood was not anything I planned to fall short in. However, this role was uncharted territory, unfamiliar, and more challenging than any I’ve ever encountered. Quite frankly, it felt like I was drowning in a sea of difficult emotions and there wasn’t a lifeboat anywhere in sight. Juggling postpartum emotions and mental health was a balancing act I struggled to manage alone. However, with the help of therapy, my supportive family, an aggressive fitness lifestyle, and prayer; I was able to navigate these emotions healthily and find a new normal. I had to take a hard look at myself in the mirror identifying and actively healing my struggles, all while knowing that someone else’s needs would always come before my own.
Acknowledging the Loss: Saying Goodbye to the Old You
You would think once you figure out what has to be done–it’s easy, just do it. But unknowingly for me; this journey involved grieving the old me that I would never be again while simultaneously embracing the new me who I didn’t even fully know yet. It can be scary and intimidating. What if I don’t like her? What does her life look like? What makes her happy? The wonderful thing about evolving is the continuous growth and transformation. Being his mom is the greatest reward I could ever experience. Words can’t capture how honored I feel to witness and be a part of his daily growth. But this new identity that I have yet to completely figure out has been a journey. I can say I am happy and adjusting comes a lot more naturally these days. I am excited about continuing to get to know her and proud to say she has grown tremendously. It took a lot to get here and I still have a long way to go.
I have learned being flexible and gentle with yourself is essential in motherhood and life. You won’t always have it figured out nor will you always get it right. Things won’t always go as we envisioned. Staying humble, keeping God first, and trusting that His plan is greater than my own have helped me stay positive and look forward to the future. These things have also allowed me to view motherhood as a privilege, a ministry, and a beautiful journey.
